OK so tomorrow is the big day. Another surgery.....yikes. I try not to talk a lot about me like because I feel like a bit of a whiner when I do so but tomorrows surgery brinngs me such a mix of feeling I felt I needed to get all these emotions out.
First let me just say how much I love you ALL! Casey, Cassie, Katheryn, Tina, Aunt Debbie, Erin. and Becky. You woman amaze me with so much. Once I learned about the surgeryand shared it with you each one of you volunteered to give me not 1 day a week but to help but 1 day a week for 5 weeks. I know I have said thank You, but in complete honesty without you all encouraging me I never would have done this. As scary as this is with a crazy recovery this has been my dream since I was 16 years old. I have fought since then just in case I would have this oppurtunity. SO when I tell you thank you. This is the most kind and special thing any friend has ever done for me. To All the other amazing and kind sisters and friends that have as well offered there time and services THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU ALL!
Second, I just want to tell me husband how much I love him. Words can not express the devotion and love that Aaron has. At one point in my child hood I could not even imagine that I would get married. With all the baggage I bring I really gave up on it. Then came Aaron and every slight day dream I had of marriage he surpassed. Thanks YOU Aaron! For giving my fight back and for showing me everyday how much you love me. In these pass months and weeks our life has been crazy but threw it all I have you. Thanks you for being my biggest supporter. Thank you for showing me that I can do this and that whatever sacrifices our family makes for these next weeks only makes our family stronger. I do not know another man on earth who can deal with what you have and still be so wonderful. I love you babe! Thanks!
Third, the hardest part of this is my kids. Oh it breaks my heart already the things I will miss and the things I will have to watch as other people do. These weeks leading up to tomorrow I really really tried to enjoy. The stressful things I will even miss. I know I will be here. I know they will be in their home, in their beds with people that love them. I will not be the one making there dinner or getting them clean or taking them to school. I think as a mother I am terrified of what they will think or feel. I do not ever want them to see me as weak or worry if I am in pain. That being said the hardest part of this all is on one side of my heart tomorrow means the world to me. Hopefully tomorrow will help me walk normal....what a gift after all these years. Then on the other side my family , friends and children are all sacrificing for me. I never want to make any one I love hurt because of a choice that benifits me. I know you are all going to tell me that is silly but I am pouring my heart out and that is how it feels. I know now more than ever my Heavenly Father loves me. I know I prayed about this decision. This is just new. I never felt such a range in emotion. From complete gratitude and love to complete fear and dread. To you all I love you! Thanks for all that you have and will do for my family. I am not sure how but I promise I will repay you all. Thanks and keep those fingers crossed. Tomorrow may be the last day this floppy foot flops!
5 comments:
Just Remember, you do not have to repay anything, just pay it forward! The Lord will bless each and every person who helps you. There are lessons to be learned by everyone involved with this trial and everyone will come out of it just fine. You have a fine family and friends and everything will be ok including your children. They will still love you and will have no lasing effects from you being away from them. They will understand in their own sweet innoncent way. We love you!
Our prayers are with you and your family!
You are a very brave woman with lots of people who love you deeply. Everythings going to be fine! So relax and let the Lord work His miracles.
You are such a wonderful person. I just know this surgery will go wonderful and that you will be blessed because of it! I am so happy to count you as my friend.
You will ABSOLUTELY be in our prayers, good luck!!!
Oh Ms. Mandi, Times like this make me so Lonely for being back HOME. I wish I was close by to come take care of you and that new foxy foot! and of course your darling kids.
You have been in my prayers and thoughts all week! I hope everything went well! I know you are in good hands with your family and all "the Girls" I just wish I was with you too. Heavenly Father is looking out for you.. you have great things to do here on earth and what a blessing you can go in and get fixed up. You are such a fox no matter if your foot flops or not! I love you head to toe. I think the world of you! Be Brave! I cant wait to see updates.. so when you are up and about give me all the goods.
Good Luck!
(Milk it for all you can... order up brownies, pizza, movies, cause soon you will be back to laundry and cleaning toilets. I love you!)
Post a Comment